An Explanation of ‘World Awareness’

I’m taking a risk writing this, but I fear there is a lack of acknowledgement for people (like me) who experience a crystal clear view of the world, and don’t put up with it’s lies; well, some of them at least.

Throughout my teenage years, I was a weird kid by many standards; I didn’t have much common sense, I was passively aggressive, and I was unaware of the adult life awaiting me around the corner of responsibility. After a while, as my anger was beginning to subside and I had moved away from home, I began to relax more, and take control of my thoughts. (It was actually a bad experience with a  woman which caused me to re-think my outlook, but I’m afraid that story has already be repressed). I wanted to be aware of my emotions, and understand why I was experiencing them, so I started to think about it, a lot. I went through a stage to begin with where I would sometimes be very depressed & cry myself to sleep, which I can only assume was because I was taking my mind into places it didn’t want to go. It didn’t last for long, fortunately, and I began to show progress; I wasn’t falling for TVs manipulation tactics, I replaced gossip & hearsay with discussing ideas, I terminated several relationships with friends, and I started researching subjects I was unsure about to gain a better insight into the world.

Everything I had learned fell into place when I decided to categorise myself as Buddhist. I had more to learn, I had an opportunity to absorb the teachings of Buddha & mould them around my own life. The biggest benefit for me was feeling like I belonged somewhere; I was categorised & not just a nomad trying to understand the world alone. With what I’ve learned so far, I’ve experienced an eye-opening change in my Outlook on life. I’ve found that I don’t get angry any more, I empathise, I help others, and I can push my mind into the deepest creative caverns and squirt something brilliant into Microsoft Word or through my fingers onto the frets of my guitar. I see the world from a completely different perspective than most, and while some of my opinions & thoughts are controversial, they are pure.

There is one problem with being this open-minded, and that is the constant awareness. I have often felt myself leaning towards the office of my GP when I’ve felt as if I have anxiety, but once I accept the atrocities I see on a daily basis, it tends to become less intense. I now know why the phrase “ignorance is bliss” exists; because its true. I’d like to touch upon ignorance a little more, as I’ve been working with an thought that has yet to be written;

I’d like to introduce you to ‘The Fog’. This is the metaphorical distortion to a person’s vision, which only allows them to see directly in front of them. While a person lives their life, they become ignorant to certain things; governmental promises, media manipulation, the awfulness of HEAT magazine etc. These things are placed out of view, and a person goes about the business directly in front of them, unaware of the effect these unconscious thoughts are having. Media manipulation may cause them to be overly-cautious of exposing their children to dirt, causing them to have weak immune systems as they grow, and HEAT magazine could cause them to be vain, selfish, materialistic, and could even cause them to inadvertently raise their children with poor morals (I’m looking at you, current generation teens). Obviously I’m just using these things as examples, but I think the meaning is clear.

With open-minded people like me (and hopefully some others out there), we don’t see ‘The Fog’. We see everything happening around us, and it’s terrifying. We see parents focused on their phones as their child walks into the road, we see people deliberately go out of their way to put someone else down or inconvenience them, we see people rumouring & causing distress, we see people making choices we know they will regret, and we see pain we can’t soothe. It takes a great deal of self-control to be able to not intervene, but it’s worth it, because their ignorance is what keeps them sane. They are comfortable with their lives while I am empathising, curled up into a ball, trying to think of a way to fix it. I realise that I can’t call their choices ‘mistakes’, because a mistake is subjective, but it doesn’t stop me devising a solution to the problem.

I think the biggest annoyance for me, is when people assume I have ulterior motives, and that I’m planning something. The truth is, I simply don’t care about anyone’s life but my own, which may seem extreme, but what you have to understand is that when I say ‘life’, I mean their personal activities, for example relationships, rumours, families etc. It’s very rare that I will actively intervene with someone’s life choices unless I’m absolutely sure it’s a mistake, and I think so far it’s happened three times. I will provide advice, emotional support, and I will resolve problems if I’m asked, but at the end of it, I don’t think twice about whether someone has taken my advice and used it productively.

I know to some it may seem as if I’m selfish & arrogant, but I can assure you that isn’t the case. There are a couple of quotes that provide some context for the things I’ve explained here, and they are;

“I know more than I say, think more than I speak, and notice more than you realise” – Unknown Author

““If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.” – Marcus Aurelius

I want to extend an arm to those who feel as if they are alone in the world; to those who feel as if they will be judged for having seemingly extremist ideas, and I would like to invite you to join me in discussion. I’m sure there are more people out there who think as I do, and I’d like to meet you; I’d like to feel as though I’m not alone.