Another Year, Another Round
And so, another 12th of October approaches, and I feel myself showered with well-wishing from those indifferent to my existence.
I can’t say I’ve ever been a very social person, but there was a time when I may have at least reached out to friends for a ‘night on the town’ on my birthday; now a notion that disturbs me. Over the years, as my friend-base shrunk, and I lost touch with many people, I began to learn how to truly be alone. Now my phone rarely rings, text messages are scarce, and the battery can last for 48-hrs. I was asked the other day if I’m ever lonely, but I fear that my explanation of loneliness & isolation was met with uncomprehending ears. I am alone, but never lonely.
One thing that isn’t known about me, is that everything I do is for a reason. Buddhism has taught me not to seek reward or acknowledgement, and I’ve incorporated that into the way I help people. Most of the time, no-one is aware that I’m helping.
A mug of tea, my writing, and a fresh idea is all I need to be happy these days; it’s an extension of myself, and the parts of my mind I want to be recorded are that portrayed in my stories. The knowledge that somewhere, a person is smiling because of something I’ve done, just helps me articulate my own happiness.
I’m selfish, but in the greatest and most poetical kind of way.